it has been a while, I thought I would share what I have been up to. Still teaching, still living my life, alone at home most nights, just watching movies, tv shows, things I enjoy. I have started adding stand up comedy into the mix. You might say that this started because of a new co-worker, who is a stand up. I toyed with the idea dozens of times. Just sitting down, writing some jokes, getting the wording right, then sneaking out one of these nights and doing an open mic. I still think about it. I am inching closer and closer to saying,"Fuck it," stepping on stage and letting it go. Some of my students might tell you that this would be no problem for me. I think that is a slight advantage. I do get up everyday of the week and "teach" for five hours. But actually a lot of that is making the students comfortable. I do this with humor. I make an ass out of myself and try to see if they will relax, breathe deep and retain some of that information. Making people laugh is selfless. Sure you might think that you want to make people laugh to feel better about yourself, and that is true to a point. But also, and more importantly, you make jokes and laughter happens. It may not be antibiotics but it works. People who are grieving might appreciate that laugh more in a difficult time. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Two people might laugh at the same joke, but are they laughing for the same reason?
This idea comes from no one but myself. I never had that moment in the office or at school where someone says, "You're funny, you should do stand-up." I have done it once before. It was alright but I could have done more, actually, I can do more. Now, I don't envision myself traveling the country and living that life. I see it as more of a hobby. Some way to make friends or a way to try something new. I admire anyone who can stand up on a stage practically bare-ass naked trying to make people laugh. If it goes well, you get all the praise but it's a two sided coin. When you fail you have no one to blame but yourself. For the most part, that's kind of how I feel about my life. I have had plenty of support but I feel that I have made my own decisions. The highs and lows I made sure to share with myself before anyone else. If there was a problem I have learned to solve it on my own. These account for around 90% of my problems. Same with my successes. I don't always share them with other people. I keep some and feel it give me confidence. My little secret that makes me happy. So, in a way I think that I could handle some of the pressure. So that's it. That's what's going on with me.