Officially it's Halloween. However, my co-workers and the students I teach celebrated it early. It was a wonderful party but I have decided that it's not for me. This is not to say that I didn't have a good time. I think it goes back to the fact that I have never really liked Halloween. Other's might argue about this, but I feel that there is something I'm missing, some charm that hasn't reached me yet or has already passed me by. I want to have fun and dress up, drink and find someone who normally might be quiet and demure, talk to them dance, with them and smile at them. Maybe I'm guarded, or maybe I come into this holiday with low expectations.
What I think is people have a chance to change, to be someone else, a demon, a ghost or inevitably a slutty (insert random female costume here.) I like myself, and I don't want to walk around feeling uncomfortable. I have lived years of my life in discomfort. Whether it be pain, physical, emotional, spiritually or just not knowing who I was, I was there, and Halloween brings all that back, with a much lower level of severity, but the idea is the same.
Maybe my age, heaven forbid, is sneaking up on me. I think Halloween is silly but without the humor. I do love to see wonderful, inventive costumes, and costumes that have had a lot of thought put into them. Emily, Peyton and Peter, Abbott and a multitude of the students looked great. It might be that I haven't indulged myself by finding a creative costume.
New Year's Eve, that's my favorite holiday, no costumes, no presents, no religious meaning behind it. People are happy to be alive. They think about the past year, what they have and haven't done, all while looking into the future, but only what they could do.