Monday, January 18, 2010

I ran

So, for some reason I forgot to eat today. It happens sometimes. I wouldn't have noticed but I had a cup of coffee and I thought I was going to lose it. It had been a long time since coffee has affected me like that. I was shaking and couldn't concentrate. It's OK now, I ate half a chicken. Then I worked out by lifting some weights. Then I went for a run. I think it stemmed from living vicariously through the main character of a novel I was reading. He was practicing zazen, which I am still not sure of its meaning, and had to sit very still. He would complain about aches in his legs and I could sympathize with him. There was a line in the book where he just wanted to get up and run around the hermitage. After I finished the book, I went for a run. My chest and shoulders ached, my lungs pulsed, but it felt good. I got back about fifteen minutes ago. I feel proud of what I accomplished today, even if I did get up at 2:00. I bought some new shirts and a few books, one is a gift. I went grocery shopping and finished a novel. Yesterday was accomplishing as well. I did laundry and cleaned my room. A quote from my mother will sum it all up, "I am so glad that you are an adult now." Cleaning my room is just one thing in a long list of things that I swore to my parents that I would never do, even when I grew up. There are more to come, and you now what, I'm OK with that. Maturity is not something to fear. I like this feeling. However, I will do stupid things. The difference is that when they are over I will recognize they were stupid, and have a choice. I can continue to do those things or not. I think that is what maturity is.


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