I had a fun night out with friends. I will have to thank Mike for dragging my ass out tonight. Even though in the end I was the thirteenth wheel, I still had a good time. I'm glad that Mike and Kim have such a big group of friends, well I guess some of them were mine as well. Karaoke is one thing I never thought I would have liked. That was until I went to Japan and found a different style. Although, singing is strenuous. It has never been my strong suit. Polyester, that's a different story.
I was the youngest in the group tonight and I saw those couples, all who have or will be settling down soon and my emotions are split. I don't see myself doing that anytime soon. Where I am right now, I think that's the best thing for me. I plan to move soon, and couldn't hold a long distance relationship.
But on the other hand I saw how happy and comfortable they all were with each other. I might have had that, but never really with the idea of it going on forever. It is getting harder and harder for me to understand that connection. The faith they have in each other, at least from my point of view, is awe inspiring. I'm not talking about fidelity, I mean in each other's character. They support each other, mainly because they know their flaws, insecurities, strengths and compassion. I think it would be incredibly difficult for me to find that trust and provide the trustworthiness needed to reach that peak.
I hate to say this, but Olivia really fucked me up. Damn