Sometimes

I sleep too late on the weekends, don't drink when I should, eat too little, smile at the wrong person then decide that they deserved a smile anyway, use aluminum foil, don't smile when I should, smell bad, smell good, eat raw things, smell strangers when they aren't noticing, smoke too much, eat bread and find it to taste like heaven, trust too many people, participate in sports, flirt too much, sustain under-confidence, lack the patience, willpower or motivation to write my blog, write stories, dream about sailing, anticipate the past, let my thumb nails grow too long, at least for my standards, listen to hip-hop and rock in alternation, dream about saving someone's life, envision myslef as a failure, misspell "myself," look at my hands like they don't exist or are not mine, pine for being on a stage, think how silly actors and musicians are, am grateful I don't have children, want children, want less, wonder what it would be like to live a hundred years ago, burn oven-mits, write one sentence that takes a long time to read.